A new journey begins....

At times in our life, we find that things are hard and we seek guidance. We chose which guidance we will listen to, the light side or the dark side. The Lord has told us that we are here on earth to learn from our trials and to gain a greater knowledge of things. So I would really like a sneak peek into what I should be gaining? I know that whatever trial doesn't kill us will make us stronger. Well with that being said, I should be a HEAVY WEIGHT LIFTER of at least 1000 pounds!!!

I haven't said much about the trials currently in my life as I need time to process everything. I will have been married to Joseph Nuttall 12 years as of July 7. However, I have filed for divorce. I think back on those 12 years and will say, they involved the best and worst times in my life. I do not regret anything and do not wish for anything different.

It may be weird to hear my say that; however, I have been able to learn the following:

-Marriage is something that both parties must be willing to work at (one can not do it all by themselves)
-I am a daughter of GOD and my worth is untold
-I am stronger then I ever could have imagined!
-My happiness is not nor should it ever be dependant on anyone else
-I have a firm testimony in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and know that the gospel is TRUE!
-Life never goes the way we think it should
-When the road gets rough, hang on and try to find joy in the ride
-I will be OK
-I have the gift to be comforted and carried along the way
-My family and friends support and love can fix ANYTHING!!

As I begin a new journey and chapter in life, it seems very scary, but I am willing to hold my head up high and know that things will work out the way that my loving Heavenly Father wants them to. I have felt his surrounding love around me as I have started this journey and know that he has had to carry me many times; however, I am grateful to have him carry me and walking beside me during this time.

I'm sorry that my story does not have a happy ending, but it has a new beginning. Joey will know that he is loved by both parents and life will continue with just a new path being taken.

I have had a rough week and I'm so grateful it's almost over!! I have had two rough days at work that just make me come home and want to go straight to bed! :( I try to think about other things, but at some point it is just worth it to go to bed and try again another day!

I am very excited to see Patty and Mike McFarling, my friends from California. I haven't seen them since January, way too long! They are here for a week, it will be really nice to escape from reality for a few days.

I am busy with work, commuting, tending to Joey's needs, Joey's homework, getting Joey in the shower, and to bed within reason, making dinners, trying to spend some time with Joey. I don't feel that I have enough time in the day, but I don't want to add any more hours, with my luck it will be added at the end of the day when my patience is already thin.

I'm frustrated that Joey is too old to let me put him to bed. He hates when I come in and give him a good night kiss. When did he grow up and why is the one last thing I enjoyed taken away. It's so hard, not sure I'm ready to have a grown up kid. But sometimes he will cuddle with me for a few minutes before bed. I wish that I didn't lose my patience with him as much as I do. I am still learning and trying to get things right...

I need to go to bed, but I just can't sleep. Life is hard and frustrating right now. I am grateful that I have testimony of the gospel. I know that the Lord will help me through the next step/phrase in my life. I am very grateful for my family and friends and their support in my life!

So many things...so little time

I haven't been very good about getting this updated as you can tell, life has been a little INSANE!! So we moved to Utah and are currently living with my sister. I LOVE being near family, but I do miss my California friends like crazy. Joe is currently still in California and Joey & I are in Utah. It's super hard to be a single parent, but I have a ton of help from my sister and her family.

I got a new position and am loving it. I do not like the commute, I drive 51 miles one way to work daily. I am happy with the job and where I live; however, I would LOVE to take the commute out! I have met a lot of great people and really enjoy my job.

Joey is enjoying school, well sort of..he is in the same class as his cousin, Carter and he seems to enjoy it. He really loves being here in this neighborhood because there are a million kids outside playing (seriously, there are a ton of kids, we do live in UTAH after all). That kid is outside playing at every chance he gets!! We got his bike out of storage and it's like Christmas for him. He loves riding it and riding his scooter. I hardly see him these days. With the Summer in the air and it stays light until after 9, it's super hard to convince him it's time to come in.

So I'm hoping to get this blog updated soon with the craziness of our lives... :)

Detours Happen

So life doesn't always go as planned...so Joe moved here with us and then about a week and a half later, Joe discovered that his transfer did not go through. I had already started at my new position; however, Joe's transfer was denied. We found out the week of Thanksgiving. So we were able to spend Thanksgiving together, Joe had to head back to California the day after. It was a rough time, but he was hopeful that things would be straighten out in no time.

Again... life doesn't go the way you plan, it has been six months and he is still in California. While Joey & I are in Utah. We are not sure when or if he will be able to transfer. Life can give you detour your route without you having any ideas!!

We have MOVED, again!!

So we have moved...We made a decision for our little family and have made the HUGE decision to move to UTAH. Joe got a job transfer and I applied for a new position. Before we knew it, we moved from Northern California to Provo, Utah. I swore that this was the last move I would do!! So we have moved 13 times in the 11 1/2 years we have been married. I will say that I am a professional at packing up boxes at this point. It's a talent, I don't enjoy but hey you got to do what you gotta do!! Joey and I moved on October 30th and Joe later followed us two weeks later!

Do you HEAR what I hear?

Do you hear what I hear...yeah I don't think so. It was last July I blew out my right ear drum. So the doctor said it would most likely heal on its own and there was nothing to worry about. At the time it did not cause any discomfort so we left it alone, about four or five months ago my ear started to bother me. Well the ear still had a hole in it and it started to hurt, the doctor told me it could be fixed, however, it would mean surgery...I was not excited about that thought.

So I was off to see a specialist, he then advised me of my options...he could do surgery or let it be. I don't do needles so the thought of surgery was not easy..the doctor started to explain the process of the procedure, he aburptly stopped as I about passed out in the chair. The date was set and we were good to go...

So big day had arrived, August 15 and it was time....I thought I was ready to go... Um I was unprepared to say the least.

We showed up @ 8:30 and we were scheduled for an 11:20 operation...they started the iv at 9 and then they let Joe & my friend Patty in the pre-opt. Area..we were able to watch tv and visit. So the nurse informed us we would be up in no time. Well that soon turned in to me not being wheeled back to surgery until after 1. That was the longest 5 hours of my life!! I was very nervous, but they gave my good drugs and I was out before I even remember why I was there.

I woke up in recovery room at 5:00 p.m. and I remember I was really hot. They cooled me down and let me go home by 6:30. It was a way longer day then I planned on...

So the road to recovery was suppose to be a few days of pain, and I would be up and around in no time. YEAH RIGHT!! I was laid out flat for four days with pain like none other. I called to get something else but the doctor said he didn't understand why I was in so much pain. He said he needed to do a check up to ensure there was no infection. There was no infection and stronger meds were given (percot). The doctor placed a spoung thing in my ear and it will b taken out the following Monday.

It's amazing how much I took for granted my hearing. The last week I have felt like a fish under water on one side and then everything super loud on the other side... walking was a whole different story...the balance was off...I had to really pay attention to what I was doing..the boys have had to help me walk or to go to another room...they have been a big help to me...

So with the post opt appointment, all looked great and the spoungy thingy was removed. The best part was that I was not in any pain when he removed the spoung. However, the ear pain was still pretty intense and I was not able to walk or drive completely at this point. It was decieded that I needed an additional week to heal and so that meant no work. In theory that sounds good but to do the normal things in life was a chore and overwhelming!

During my recovery we were showered with meals from our Ward family! It was actually really nice to be on the receiving end of that once!

However, it has been almost 4 weeks since the surgery and it has been 5 days of no pain medicine at all!! :) I have my balance back and am almost at 100%. I still can't bend over completely to get anything off the floor. I get crazy dizzy and then I can pass out. So we will leave that one alone for a little longer!

I can hear out of the right ear almost like normal, it is still just a little muffled but Doctor said that it should come back after 6 weeks.

So life is somewhat back to normal! :)

A little Change.....

Life has been a little more then crazy with work, Joey's baseball, house duties, and church callings...so I need to have a little change in my life...so here is the new change!! Its fun and I am loving it!! Hollar Hollar!!